"I'm a pretty popular guy."That was me in 5th grade, the height of my popularity. Back in 5th grade if you needed something done in your Pokemon Gameboy game, I was the go-to guy during recess.
College is almost over now and I've never been to one party like you'd see in a film like Superbad or the basement of a 14 year old high school student's house. You know, the ones where everyone stands around with red cups filled with hastily mixed alcohol (never mix your beer and liquor unless you want to have a good time!), fucks everyone in sight, passes out from minor alcohol poisoning, and then obscenely embellishes the stories the next day to seem even more popular. (Unless of course the stories are actually true, in which case I may be more of a loser than previously thought.) But this is all socially accepted behaviour. Unless you were the one who raped that cheerleader. Then you just need a lawyer. Unless you're the school's football star, in which case she was totally giving you the eye all night long. You know she wanted it. Who can resist you? Clearly you can't even resist yourself. Now stop touching your nipples.
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